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Monday, March 16, 2009

More on Chickens

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure (right from Day One!) that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of road?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need more black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that this chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No bird gave me any insider information about crossing.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why a chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it had experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens crossing roads together.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will integrate with those that lay eggs. Henhouse Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable than previous versions.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road pass beneath the chicken?

4 comments:

Jane H. said...

cute, very cute.

Kimber said...

OMG that was so funny Lynn.

Whosies said...

that is too funny.
to help on the chicken poop problem. I clean the coop really only twice a year. maybe it should be more, but so far it is ok. I don't disinfect anything. i just scoop it and dump it all somewhere else...compost, garbage, whatever. Then i lay new yellow straw down for them and let them start fresh. it is about time to do it for the spring. Besides on the ground under their roosting bar where they sleep i shovel off the top of the boxes and wherever else they like to crouch and poop :) the room they are in is off the back of the garage and it has a concrete floor. this makes shoveling nice and easy. the smell is horrible and a mask would help that, but i know where they have been, what they eat, so really i haven't had any problem with disease of that sort. The do love the new stuff put down though, for warmth and scracthing in. I sprinkle some alpha too in their. they like to eat that when in the winter when they don't get much grass. Oh, when i mow in the summer i take the bag and just dump it inside the coop. They love the little bugs, seeds and all that fresh cut grass. hope that helps. let me know if you need anything else. i would love to help. it was hard -still is- to find info on how to really do it. not that i am at all an expert. i just know what works for me. bekntbab4(at)yahoo(dot)com

Whosies said...

that was long but i couldn't reply to your comment. so there ya go.